There are two kinds of nursing toddlers, the first ones will wean themselves, and the second ones will make it a nightmare to get them to wean. This article should help you find a way to get your stubborn toddler nix the nursing, no matter what your reasons for that might be.
Table of Contents
Ready to stop breastfeeding?
Breastfeeding until the kid is well into toddlerhood is ok, only if it works and it is comfortable for both of you. But eventually, you or the toddler will be ready to move on. Do not let yourself feel guilty if you want to make your child wean from breastfeeding. You did all you had to do, and now it is time to get some rest and move on.
1. Try talking to the toddler about weaning
Your child might not be talking yet, but there is a big chance that he/she will understand if you explain what you are planning to do. Don’t use complicated words and try to explain in a nice and calming voice. Let the toddler know that they are big enough to move on to other ways of feeding and that that will allow you two to have more time for fun and games.
Tips for weaning your toddler:
1. Timing
Picking the right time is very crucial. You want your toddler to be in a good mood. Avoid weaning when the toddler is feeling unwell or when he/she is starting daycare and is already stressed enough. Too many things changing at once might be too much for your toddler to handle.
2. Reduce the breastfeeding time
If your toddler loves to spend hours nursing, try to shave few minutes off the usual time he/she spends on your breasts. This way, the shorter feeding sessions might become unsatisfying, thus leading to the toddler weaning himself off the nursing. Don’t expect immediate results, but the less you nurse them, the faster your milk supply will reduce, and eventually, the toddler will have no choice but step off the breasts.
3. Stop offering to breastfeed your toddler
Another thing you could do is stop offering to breastfeed your toddler. Reduce the nursing only when he/she asks. You have voluntarily offering breastfeeding stop immediately and cut down the number of times you choose this way to feed your toddler.
4. Try to find alternative activities for breastfeeding time
If your toddler has a specific time of the day when he/she asks for nursing, try to prepare yourself to do other stuff during those specific periods. If the toddler always wants a noon breastfeeding session, figure out something else to do with him/her at that specific time. You don’t have to explain. Just grab a book, start reading, or take your toddler on a walk.
5. Try not to rush it too much if your kid is not ready
If the toddler is anxious, clingy, and has tantrums, it means that you might be going too fast with the weaning. When you notice that your toddler is acting differently, try to slow things down. This whole process doesn’t have to be traumatic. A few more days or weeks on nursing will not hurt the whole process.
6. Make this change look like a positive thing
Make your toddler feel special every time they accept to be fed otherwise than breastfed. Emphasize how positive is this development for him/her. When you notice that the toddler is finally ready to stop nursing, you can let him/her decide a time of their last breastfeeding. You can add some sort of reward or little party to make the toddler feel special about this accomplishment.
7. Distractions
Distractions are a very important part when you try to wean your toddler. By this time, your toddler should be able to eat solid food, so have his/her favorite one next to your hand when they usually ask to be breastfed. Offering whole milk in a bottle can be a good choice. So, just right when they start crying to be breastfed, offer them other choice and see how things develop.
8. Try to find new ways for bonding
Make sure you are substituting nursing with affection. The toddler might refuse to wean just because they look at it as a bonding time with their mother. It is your job to make your little one feel that even though breastfeeding will stop, it doesn’t mean they will spend less time with you. During this whole process, shower your toddler with lots of kisses and cuddles and let them know you will always be there.
9. Involve your partner
This whole process is not going to be easy, so it would be best if you involve your partner. Let your partner know what he can do and get all the help you can from him. You can ask him to take over the task of putting the toddler to sleep. Thus you will have some time apart from the toddler, and hopefully, he/she will forget to ask to be breastfed eventually.
10. Buy some time
Buying time is also a good strategy while weaning. Just when your toddler starts asking to be breastfed, you can come up with some fun activity you can do instead. Baking or going outside are always good ideas. Hopefully, the toddler will find these activities fun, and it will make him/her forget for a couple of hours about breastfeeding.
11. Set boundaries
Setting boundaries can also be beneficial in this process. You can tell your toddler that breastfeeding can only happen while you are at home, in a specific room, and at a specific time of the day. You will need to stick to these limits you have set as much as possible.
12. Look over the nursing routine
If your toddle has a habit of breastfeeding until he/she falls asleep, you need to kick this habit ASAP. Change the nursing routine to earlier periods of the day and replace the nighttime breastfeeding with some snacks, whole milk, stories, etc. Or, as we mentioned above, the bedtime duties can go to your partner.
13. Take a small vacation just by yourself
A little unorthodox, but going away for few days sometimes is all you need to wean your toddler. Not having you around will make your toddler compromise and eat what is being served. Don’t be surprised if your toddler stops asking to be breastfed when you come back. The only thing you are left to do when you come back, stop offering the breast or distract the toddler if they happen to ask for breastfeeding.
Start a self-care after you have stopped the breastfeeding
Yes, your toddler is important, but so are you. Approaching gradually towards this process will also prevent engorgement, but you can try compresses or heating pads to reduce the discomfort if you happen to experience them. There is also the emotional aspect. There is a chance you find weaning difficult for you too, because you have done it for so long and you have developed a special bond with your child. Bear in mind that this process is inevitable and will benefit you and your child as well.
What needs to be done if the toddler keeps refusing to stop breastfeeding?
You need to stop comparing your kid to others. Some toddlers take less time to wean, and other take longer, and that is ok. Every child and every mom are different. If something worked for others, it might not work for you. The point is not to get disappointed and let it happen when it happens. The same goes for the mother, just because some moms weaned a long time ago and it went smoothly for them doesn’t mean you should feel bad because it takes you a bit longer.
Changing the nighttime routine is also important. If the toddler tends to fall asleep while nursing, move the last feeding earlier than their bedtime. The point here is to let your toddler see that they can go to bed without your breast in their mouth. Just change up the routine to exclude breastfeeding, and eventually, things will fall in the right place.
